The BRITS ( British Record Industry Travesties )...Shame On You

Last week's BRITS were a spectacular demonstartion of most things that are responsible for the decline in the Major Labels .....sorry but it's true
 It showcased some real talent - Adele was fab as was Rhianna - but was undermined by witless presentation ,an excess of pyrotechnics and an absence of any charismatic artists .......to be blunt , if Take That are the Best Group then I'm Pixie Lott !
 In a complete Major Label carve-up of " Awards " the failure of Sony to " win " anything was a particularly sorry show for a once-great label ......Shame on You ! If I couldn't sign an artist good enough to win a BRIT I would stand on my head on the 4th plinth for a day ...Jesus wept !
  A lot of people tell me Mumford and Sons are " Great " ...yeah ,I'm Cheryl Cole too !
 In a year when UK Black Music dominated the charts it was disgusting to see Tinie Tempah be the " token RnB " winner .....Shame On You !
 I like Laura Marling but again if she's the Best Female then I'm Justin Bieber
 I could go on but I won't ....except to say that more people watched " My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding " on the night than the BRITS , Shame On You
 Meanwhile the orchestra played on as The Titanic sunk a little further and the deckchairs were rfearranged one final time !
 Shame On You All 

Where have all the visionary A&R men gone ?

It gives me no pleasure watching the industry I love(d) dying slowly and painfully ....well that's not quite true I must admit to a touch of schadenfreud ( look it up ! ) and smugness as it crashes and burns 

 As I write this I'm listening to Tom Waits " The Heart Of Saturday Night " and it makes me wonder....where did all the great,original artists go ? They haven't stopped making music I'm sure !

Perhaps the question should be where have all the visionary A&R men gone ...people like Simon Draper,Muff Winwood,Daniel Miller and me ? We changed the face of British music by signing great bands who dared to be different and didn't give a fuck about convention . 

  I feel sorry for current A&R men ,sitting in their offices like a row of " smoking beagles " only in this case they are killing them selves slowly by listening to  shit and trying to convince an increasingly sceptical public that look ...the king IS wearing a beautiful set of clothes ! ! 

  Instead of cigarettes they wear headphones and a beleagured expression as they try to persuade the current Producer or writer flavour of-the-month that their latest anorexic dimwit is the next Pixie/Cheryl or Ellie !

 Now I know just how much pressure these guys are under believe me but surely if a once-great business is dying through lack of interest of it's customers isn't it time to do something different ,sign GOOD music instead of rubbish ,sign artists whose strength is their individuality rather than some painter and decorator who can sing kareoke ?

 Of course noone in the business would be brave enough to employ me now coz I 'm, too opinionated and quite hard work - OK very hard work : ) - but great artist need great people to handle them and I was an expert at that 

 I'm going to tell you all the secret to great A&R .......it is persuading an artist to do what you want them to but have them think it is their idea ! 

 Sounds simple but you should try it ........I'm good at it ,it's my strtength . I can't sing or play or produce or m ix - believe me I've tried - but I can encourage artists to believe in themselves ,question them as to are they being the best they can be.

 Now if the music business IS dying - and sadly that is the case - then surely you A&R guys out there shouldn't die wondering ......the recent success of Plan B the new Chase & Status ( or nu-Pendulum ) and James Blake show that there IS a demand for excellent ,confrontational stimulating new music 

 So come on you smoking A&R men ,cast off your headphones and join us in the search for a brand-new bright tomorrow ! !

PS all  label MD's form an orderly queue for my services : ) )